wake me up [Ama]

[TSUKUYOMI AIKIKO]

[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][bg=silver] ☪wake me up

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[bg=silver][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true] ☆tagged: Amaterasu☆ words: 1031☆ ☆ notes: here it is~☆

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School he wasn't so sure what to feel about it. Tsukuyomi stared blankly outside the window his teacher continuing on with the lesson as the instructor had long given up on him. He would not pay attention and it wasn't like him not paying attention was distracting anyone. He wasn't talking to people nor was he passing notes either. Instead he simply looked out the window and maybe even allow himself to fall asleep from time to time. After all it wasn't like he slept in the night. No, he avoided that and it wasn't because he was a vampire either. He was a sorcerer but it was simply because he rather look at the stars. Besides he had to try to speed up time somehow at school. Not that he hated it but at the same time he wasn't very fond of it either. Instead he felt...neutral? Uncaring maybe? Those were the words usually associated with someone such as himself.

His golden orbs slowly turned back to the board to see if there was anything interesting on the board only to find that it was nothing but long notes...notes that he had no care for as it wasn't necessary. He noted that some of the kids were staring at the clock as if willing for it to go faster. Too bad it would never go faster no matter how hard they stare at it. He then turned his head to look at some of his classmates. He spotted some passing notes and others in their little corner chatting. He didn't really know what it was about but he was sure that they were spreading rumors. Also for some strange reason the school loves to spread rumors which usually ended up being false information anyway. Yet they would spread them nonetheless and he would never see any reasoning on why they would do such a thing. It didn't look very fun and it was not a very good trait. To give out false information can hurt you as you grow up, especially with the war that was going on right now.

Part of him was a bit confused on why the school was even still maintaining students. After all with the war going on putting dark, neutral and light affiliated students was not exactly the best thing to do. They might even attack each other if their parents were against each other. The minds of minors were very easy to influence which was quite obvious. So having a school where having two opposite groups was not exactly a good idea. There were also the neutrals who were squished in the middle unsure of what to choose. A sigh escape from his lips as he turned back to the window. His eyes slowly closing as he wanted to get some sleep even if he would rather sleep under some shaded trees where he could feel the wind playing with his hair. As he slowly lost consciousness the last thing on his mind was an inquiry of when the class would end.

The next thing the student knew he heard a bell. His eyes opened up despite being rudely woken up by the annoying sound he opened his eyes up as if nothing had happened. As if he had only closed his eyes to rest it for a bit. He saw the students quickly leave ready to eat their lunch, meet up with friends or maybe to go to the line before others do. Tsukuyomi though had slowly taken his time of putting his supplies in. It wasn't like he had anyone to meet up with and he was never really hungry at school. He prefer to eat at home anyway since there was someone in the school who seems rather intent on picking on him, namely the students that were in his class who were so curious on what his face would be when contorted with anger.

Once the male's stuff has been packed and secured he walked out with only one destination in mind. A part of him was still sleepy so he figured he might as well find some shade to rest under. Maybe somewhere that would be refreshing. Once outside he noted that there were lots of students talking to each other acting so friendly. Even some of his classmates who looked dead in class staring at the clock were now suddenly lively. He never understood how seeing people could improve one's mood so well but he didn't dare question it either. He considered it something unnecessary to know like her name. That one girl who has been in all of his classes for as long as he can remember. She was a poor girl and it was obvious with how much of a failure she is. In each and every way she was the exact opposite of him. She wasn't talented at anything that is besides failing anyway but that hardly counted in his opinion. A failure she was someone who was to be forgotten and therefore he had never bothered to remember her name. Instead he would refer to her as the monkey all because he would see how she would always glare at him and back when they were young had even attack him...not that he had ever gotten hurt. He would never allow someone like her to lay a finger on him let alone inflict pain.

Once he found a quiet looking spot behind a building he walked over. There was only one tree and so he sat down and placed his backpack down. His eyes slowly closing to go back to the world of dreams. He felt the breeze play with his hair and something landing on his hair. He was sure it was a leaf but didn't bother to remove it simply because it was not a necessary act.

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when september ends

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[TSUKUYOMI AIKIKO]

[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][bg=silver] ☪wake me up

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[bg=silver][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true] ☆tagged: Amaterasu☆ words: 1028☆ ☆ notes: if you want i can make one for you☆

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They say that drams showed hidden desires. Something that your subconscious once and you have no choice but to be subjected to such views. Yes dreams were for pleasure where one can experience a world that they have created. A world where they had no pain and can accomplish anything even something in the realms of impossibility. Yet that would mean that nightmares, the very contrast foundation of dreams, showed your worst fears. Where everything you try to forget, try to let go would come back and haunt you. Where your guilt or sins would come back and you have no choice but to watch them slowly play out. Always repeating reminding you of how tainted and imperfect you are.

Lucky for Tsukuyomi though he didn't have a nightmare to remind him of what he has done in the past or what he currently lacked. At the same time though a dream did not grace him. No instead he saw nothing. It was almost like turning off a t.v. screen. It was simply black and that was it. Nothing was shown and he had no sense of anything. This was the way he prefer it. He didn't want to look at his mistakes that would constantly glare at him but at the same time he did not deserve the comfort that a dream would give. It was the perfectly middle ground for someone such as himself. In a place where nothing would affect him where he was distant. Yet it felt empty to see nothing. As if his mind was completely devoid of everything that a normal person would have. Then again that was how he was usually described as wasn't he?

Thud. Just like that he felt himself woken up, as if someone has pushed the on button to dispel him from the pleasantry of his slumber. His golden orbs slowly opened to see books in front of him. Huh? The first thing that came to his mind was Sin most likely dropping it to wake him up. The male can be very annoying at times. The male rarely ever hated anyone as well simply because he believed that there was something good about someone. No he wasn't an optimistic, oh no, he was far from it. The answer is imply because he is a realist and therefore saw things not in black or white. He didn't see things in color either but rather it was gray. Gray, like the color of his hair. Such a disdain and ugly color though. He was never fond of it at all. A mix of light and dark as if they could coexist so easily. As if everything that a happy ending where everyone would become happy no matter what position they were. That was something that belonged in books and onlybooks.

He watched the person come over never bothering to lift his head up. Some could consider him to be lazy but in his mind he was simply being conservative due to the fact that he is a partial insomniac staying up late in the night and never exactly getting the right amount of sleep in the day either. Slowly though the figure bend down to grab the fallen books. The boy stared at her, his eyes not blinking but it didn't grow big with shock either. Instead it stayed at the normal fixed height. Inside though he was shocked. He had heard that she was at the academy. That he knew as he would see her at times outside when he is in class or maybe passing by. At times he would become tempted to walk up to her and talk to her like normal siblings. To laugh with her again even if his laughter was just a small chuckle from time to time due to the fact that he was never an emotional boy. How many times he had tried to reach out, to tell himself to at least greet her but yet fear would always get to him. The fear of rejection, the fear of her baring hatred in her eyes towards him, the idea alone was enough to always stop him, for the words to quickly die in his throat and he would simply walk away never giving her a second glance. He never allowed himself to.

Now though to see her in front of him. The noble was sure he was dreaming, that this was some figment of imagination his cranium had produced to sooth him. It wouldn't be the first time. Whenever he couldn't sleep in the night and gaze up at the star, his eyes would fall heavy. Usually though he would still keep them open no matter how heavy it was. Sometimes he would even faint because of it but never in front of others. He would always wait until he was completely alone before giving into the necessity that his body craved. Yet once on a blue moon he would close his eyes to rest them but then his mind would wander back to the childhood where everything had been so simple where she would hug him and he would fall asleep on her comfortable lap. Somehow he would always give into it just to dabble in such dreams.

"One-" he started but quickly caught himself. He didn't have the right to treat her as if he was her kin anymore. "Amaterasu." Tsukuyomi corrected himself. The leaf that he had quietly told himself to get rid of before he had fallen into his slumber. Still if this was a dream it was not a necessary. It was funny though. He she was right in front of him and he still wasn't sure on what to say. It was not like they could quickly mend the mistake he had made nor could they forget it and move on so quickly. Yet he saw her slowly turn away. He knew that at this moment he should grab onto her to prevent her from leaving but he didn't. "Are you doing well?" he asked her, his voice as soft as the wind.

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when september ends

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[AMATERASU AIKIKO]

Mama who bore me

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Mama who gave me

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She had been fully prepared to leave, to turn around and try her hardest not to give this look-alike to her brother a second thought. All those plans, however, were foiled as soon as she heard her name. Not many people knew it, and fewer even bothered to remember it. It was such a mouthful, after all, and it wasn't like she was someone incredibly important. Nonetheless, this person knew her name, and it was then that Amaterasu knew, without a doubt, that this boy was her brother. Tsukuyomi. Shock rooted her to the spot, and she stood there with her back turned to him for what felt like an incredibly awkward eternity before finally managing to move her feet around so that she could face him.

Completely forgetting to turn her look of shock in to one of casual nonchalance, Ama blinked slowly. There he was. Her brother. Standing right in front of her, his face betraying nothing, looking as netural and cold as was possible. Ama would have at least expected him to show some sign of surprise, but there was none. She ducked her head quickly, trying to get her emotions under control and not succeeding very well. How could he just stand there, so frigid to her, after calling her out? Ama might have felt a bit less awkward if he had at least been smiling, or even showing just the tiniest drop of affection, but the fact was, he wasn't. She wasn't quite sure how she felt about this; sad, even though she tried to deny it, and exasperated too, though not at him. At herself. What had she been expecting, Ama chided silently to herself. Love and care? Please. As if he could show that to her, the sibling he had left behind and not even attempted to make contact with these past long years. A new wave of sad, but steadfast resolve washed over Ama, and she finally lifted her head up, face as blank as his.

"Tsukuyomi." she replied in turn, voice surpisingly even, not giving away a hint of her inner turmoil. She was proud of that. "I didn't know you were here." her feeling of pride instantly evaporated in to one of annoyance at herself. It was barely noticeable, but her voice had gone a bit higher on the last word. She could not afford to let him know how confused she was. He would probably just mock her and then turn away, leaving her all alone with just her book for company. A book. What kind of company was that? Books couldn't love you. They couldn't care for you. Of course, they also couldn't hurt you either. Ama's grip on her thick novel tightened, her knuckles whitening.

Opening her mouth to reply to his question, she was furiously dismayed to find that her voice had abandoned her in her time of need. She stood there for a moment with her mouth open, before finally finding it. "I'm fine." she replied as coolly as him. "What do you expect?" Okay, that had come out harsher than she had intended it to. She hadn't meant to sound rude or bitter. That wasn't her. Of course, how would Tsuku- Tsukoyomi, she corrected hersef- know that? It had been years since he had last seen her. For all he knew, she could have changed drastically since the last time they had seen each other, when they had been children.

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No way to handle things

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Who made me so sad

Words: 576
Notes: SHIT. VY, I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED MY EARLIER POST T_T WHYYYYYYY

[TSUKUYOMI AIKIKO]

[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][bg=silver] ☪wake me up

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[bg=silver][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true] ☆tagged: Amaterasu☆ words: 1057☆ ☆ notes: at least you didn't lose this one?☆

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It was a moment of deafening silence where neither would talk after Tsukuyomi had called out to her ever so quietly. She was thinking it was obviously, calculating, weighing the two options that she had in her head as quickly as possible while still trying to stay calm. At least that was what he was sure of. If there was one word to describe her, it would obviously be strong. Almost like the sun, she had never been weak but rather strong always being able to stand on her own two feet and never let anything knock her down. No, she would never fall, descend down onto the Forestile, but fall is something that would never happen. He had never saw her fallen and that was why he had always looked up to her. She was everything he was, talented, bright, independent but at the same time she was also more. She possessed determination and strove to do hard work. When she fails she never allow herself to come to her knees but rather she would just stand strong and try again while learning from her mistakes. She had everything he could ever want.

Slowly the girl turned around to get a look at him. He wasn't sure why though. Doesn't she loathe him for what he has done? Whenever someone that even annoyed him a bit calls out to him, he would tend to ignore them without a care in the world. He saw her face of confusion that was so evident. He didn't know what she was confused about though. Was she curious to why he was here? Did she wonder why he was sleeping during school hours? Was she surprised that they finally met again after the years they have spend apart from each other? He wasn't sure but just that look of confusion did surprise him a bit. It was not that he had expect a smile or any signs of forgiveness. He surely didn't deserve it anyway. No, he knew that it wasn't like in stories where everything would have an easy happy ending. Where everyone would get their wish one way or another, reality never worked that way. He learned that well as a kid when his parents had divorced. How he would claps his hands together and pray that they would be back together...but yet they never did. Wishing amounted to nothing but hopeless dreaming. Even in his desperation he would slowly to realize just how futile it was. It was also during then that he had given up on the idea of forgiveness for his sins.

The boy didn't even know why he had called her out other than the fact that he had thought it was a dream. Yet when those words had escaped, he realized that it wasn't. He didn't know how, it was just something that was in the back of his mind but yet she had turned around. For a moment there was a small amount of hope even if the back of his mind had told her that it was futile. The chance of her actually wanting to repair the bond they shared as a little kid. He was sure that she didn't care about it. Just like how he had never dare reach out to her in fear, she probably never dared touch him in disgust. He saw her turn away blocking her face from his view. He had been sure that she would walk away but yet she did not. Instead she had stood still not turning around to face him again but at the same time not leaving him as if he was not there.

"Tsukuyomi." came the long awaited reply. Yet despite not hearing her name for years, he didn't smile. His eyes didn't soften or showed any kind of happiness. They stated still...so apathetic that he might as well have been talking to a stranger. Her voice though was devoid and it had grown just like hers. It sounded different but yet he could tell that it was still her, that there was some essence that was Amaterasu and Amaterasu's alone. Something that the years could not take away. He didn't know what it was though, perhaps it was the fact that they were twins so he could recognize her. "I didn't know you were here." Of course she wouldn't, they haven't talked to each other. He only knew that she liked to be in the library because he knew that she loved to read. That was why he stayed away from it unless it was absolutely necessary.

Her voice though as he had paid close attention, always the observant one, he noted has gone slightly higher. It was barely noticeable but there was some emotion, a small lack of self control but she had quickly regained it from the looks o fit. After all her eyes didn't harden of self-disapproval but stayed firm. He didn't point anything out though, only a quick small mental note to himself.

"I'm fine." She answered his question. He wasn't sure if it was truth or a customary answer. "What do you expect?" She asked her voice rather harsh. To be honest though the male wasn't sure what he was supposed to expect. It wasn't like they were close where they could lament to one another again. Instead they were distant like strangers or if not something worse...something he did not want to think about. "My apologies for inquiring such an obvious answer." he told her with a polite tone. Unlike the little quiet shy boy who clung onto others and barely knew anything when it came to being polite, the years had changed him so that he would be able to fit with society just a little bit more.

"Would..." he started unsure of what to say or rather how to say it. He wanted to ask her to eat lunch with him but chances are she would say no. Yet he still wanted to try. The worse was that she would leave and if she was going to leave if he doesn't give her any reason to stay, there was not much to lose. "Eat lunch with me?" he asked trying to make it as familiar as possible but even then it didn't sound right to him.

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when september ends

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[AMATERASU AIKIKO]

Mama who bore me

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Mama who gave me

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Well, whatever else could be said for her brother, at least he was polite. Cold, distant, and apathetic, but polite. The thing was, Ama didn't want him to be polite. It wasn't fair. She wanted to yell at him, hug him, cry until they were standing in a small ocean, but of course she couldn't do any of these things. Not while he was acting so calm and polite, at least. Still, Amaterasu wanted to see some sort of reaction from him. Something to show he still cared, still felt something, wasn't an emotionless drone. So far, though, she hadn't found any hint that he was anything but that.

Why was Amaterasu even sticking around anyways? She wasn't in to masochism, and that was basically what this was. She was only hurting herself by staying here and letting these old wounds reopen. She was just being stupid, and she despised morons. So why was she doing this? Maybe she was an idiot at heart. Ama supposed it was the strange situations like these that brought out peoples inne idiocy but she'd never thought that she'd be subject to something so mundane.

Her already tense grip on her book tightened, but apart from that, she showed no sign of anxiety. Maybe it would be a good idea to leave right now, before things got even worse. Ama had just been about to turn around and leave when Tsuku asked her if she wanted to have lunch. Ama ducked her head so he wouldn't see the small shard of hope in her eyes. He had hesitated. The blank, controlled boy had hesitated. Maybe he wasn't as emotionless as she had thought. Maybe there still was hope.

She looked up, and even though her eyebrows were knit together in a frown and her eyes were wary, her mouth was wearing the tiniest tiniest smile. Her tone, however, was starched. "I would like to have lunch, as a matter of fact. I'm starving. Will we eat under the tree?" She had finally managed to wipe the smile off her face. She couldn't afford to be happy, not just yet. This could be just a scheme that would injure her even further. In case you were unable to tell, Ama was not the type to trust easily. Not at all.

Children trusted people. Amaterasu had certainly trusted her brother Tsukuyomi in the old days, before the divorce, but now, that wasn't exactly the case. It was silly to cling to an old image which had most certainly changed. Tsuku was much different now. As a child, he had been so much more open. Now.....now he wasn't. Now he was cold. How could Ama trust that? She didn't know this boy. Not anymore. But she could always try to get to know him again.

No way to handle things

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Who made me so sad

Words: 468
Notes: TADA!!! A loverleh post for you! Don't correct that, I need to think that this is beautiful XP

[TSUKUYOMI AIKIKO]

[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][bg=silver] ☪wake me up

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[bg=silver][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true] ☆tagged: Amaterasu☆ words: 1011☆ ☆ notes: so cute~☆

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Again she had turn around most likely to leave. There was no other reason to turn but not wanting her to leave he asked her to stay. Came up with a reason such as having lunch despite the fact that he didn't bring lunch. He saw no reason to since he would eat at home or in the dorm. At times he would make the food himself but he usually avoided that. For some reason his food had always tasted too bland as if he was drinking water. If anything he would try to get someone to cook for him making up some stupid reason. Usually it would be a random student he paid off. He avoided asking Sin since who knows what the male would put in there and the same can be said of Loki. Those two can't be trusted when it came to any form of nutrition. At times he questioned himself for even associating with them. Was he really that desperate? Well the answer was obviously yes as he would talk tot hem instead of ignoring them. Also they were the only ones who didn't care too much about his bluntness or at least didn't let it stop them from talking to him, whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

When she had turned around and looked up, he saw a small smile on her lips. How he wanted to smile too. To show her just how happy he was but none would came, not that he was surprised. Disgusted with himself, yes, but surprise? Hardly really since it was something natural for him. It wasn't that he couldn't feel but rather he didn't know how to show it. That was unless it was natural pain or mild annoyance. Even when he was sick he didn't show it. Which might had been why he fainted once when he was a young kid. He was sick that day but he didn't show it nor did he tell anyone about it. His movement barely sluggish and since it was after the divorce, no one really watched him closely to know the slight difference. So at school during P.E. he had pushed his body too hard and fainted. The nurse found out that he had a high fever and was amazed that he didn't really cough or show that much symptoms. She had even thought that he hid the sickness as he never said anything. In reality he didn't do anything to hide it, he simply carried out what he would normally do and thought the sickness was small. Obviously he was wrong back then and was rather scolded at by many people. None of it because they cared for him but rather it looked bad on the family pride. Pride, that was what the adults really cared about wasn't it? To not show any signs of weakness, to feel power. It was rather annoying seeing them not caring about anyone but themselves. Yet he couldn't say he was surprised as the same thing could be said of himself.

"I would like to have lunch, as a matter of fact. I'm starving. Will we eat under the tree?" What? Rewind there. He stared at her with the usual disinterest but this time he had slightly titled his head. It wasn't much of a movement but it was something. He truly could not believe what she had just said. The fact that she was going to eat with him. When he had asked her it was almost like pulling a random string to see what would happen, a hasty decision but to think that she had replied. One could call it a total fluke. Yes, it was a fluke as he put no thought into it at all. Its imply didn't make sense in his mind. It was far too illogical for him. He knew that he didn't have much to lose but certainly the thought of achieving his goal certainly was not on his mind.

The smile slowly faded but at least it had been there. He gave her a nod. "Although I don't exactly have anything to eat. He always wasn't hungry but he saw no reason to inform her of that. He could just sit next to her and try to make small conversation. It certainly wouldn't be easy but at least it would be better than him making her wait for him to get food. The fact that she had accepted was already good enough for him. As he sat leaning on the tree he noted that some of the leaves were falling. Well it was Autumn and so it was only natural and so he didn't bother to say anything about it at all. It wasn't really something that would make a good topic anyway.

Wait leaf. Wasn't there something he was suppose to do about it? Now it had escaped him though possibly due to the small shock that his sister had accepted the offer. Oh well it didn't matter too much then. If it was important he would remember later and if it wasn't then he would forget it just like the Monkey's name. It was as simple as that. Slowly though he shifted over to give her some room. It would only make sense right? He quickly leaned back though and waited to see if she would go through with her words. The male was rather confident that she would. This was Amaterasu and she was not the kind to simply say things and never meet it through. At least as a kid she didn't. Time did change people and it certainly did change him quite a bit as well. Well not to say that he was a talkative kid when he was young. No, he was still a quiet one but he did show more emotions back then and acted more his age. That was before the adults around him had decided that it was time for him to grow up and used logic to live his life.

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when september ends

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[AMATERASU AIKIKO]

Mama who bore me

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Mama who gave me

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What? No food? Ama couldn't help but feel a vague twinge of dissaproval, and not because she was hungry, because she wasn't. Ama could go for a very long time without eating. Often, she would forget about the little inconveniant necessities the human body needed, such as when she was in the middle of a fascinating book or working hard on a particular project. It was shame the body needed nutrients to keep itself going.....otherwise, imagine the possibilities! She would never ave to leave her workspace or her beloved research again! And she most certainly wouldn't have to bother with awkward situation such as these. If she had said it once, she had said a thousand times; books never troubled her like this.

No, what annoyed her was the fact that he was not following through. If you were going to offer something, at least have it with you! Ama despised people like that, who offered things and then snatched them away. Admittedly, it was only a free lunch she had lost this time, but next time? What would it be then? Ama wasn't sure whether she wanted there to be a next time or not. Today would be an evaluation of sorts, she supposed; to deem whether she could actually connect with her brother again, to see if she could trust him, and, most importantly, to see if he hadn't turned in to a completely cold inhumane monster. Ama hoped not. She really hoped not, even though a tiny part of her was crying out for that to happen. It would be so much simpler for her, then she could just return to her studies without too much pain or mishaps.

Well, whatever the case, whatever she actually wanted, it was to late to back out now. Ama, at least, was not one who reneged on her promises. Squaring her shoulders, she tilted her head up in a defiant gesture, before treading over to the tree and sliding down the bark until she was sitting. Placing her book on her lap, she let out a barely audible sigh, all the confidence gone from her in one fell swoop. Her voice, however, betrayed none of tat. "Well then." she replied, voice crisp. "I suppose talking's always an option, isn't it?" If this didn't go well, then getting up and running away would become one of Ama's options, never mind the consequences.

But what was there to talk about, really, without upsetting old grievances? She didn't know this boy who was standing on the other side of the tree. She had before, but that had been years ago, when they had been but children. He had changed since then, obviously. Drastically. Over the years, Ama had imagined what would happen if she did come face to face with her favourite brother. Now that Amaterasu finally had the chance to give him a piece of her mind, she had no idea what to say. She hated those rare times when she was struck speechless. Her mind just wen blank and began racing for something to say. In situatios like these, she generally ended up saying something stupid. Not that she met her long-lost brother every day.

"Sooo......" she drawled, drawing the word out while she thought of something to say. Grasping at straws, Ama caught somethin that sounded suitable to say and also expressed her neutrality. "What have you been up to?" perfect. She sounded just right; distant, and pointed. That was how she talked to most people, so it wasn't that hard. All she had to do was imagine that the person on he other side of the tree was a random stranger whom she had no connection to, not her brother. Ama felt a cool breeze stir up, and shivered a little. It would get cold soon. About time she brought out the long-sleeved jackets.

No way to handle things

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Who made me so sad

Words: 645
Notes: They're so adorable! So uncertain! It brings tears to my otherwise cold eyes!

[TSUKUYOMI AIKIKO]

[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][bg=silver] ☪wake me up

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[bg=silver][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true] ☆tagged: Amaterasu☆ words: 740☆ ☆ notes: bad post. T^T☆

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Tsukuyomi had expected to be scolded...as strange as that would had been for him. He was rarely ever scolded unless one counted a certain pair of annoying silver hair males. Then again their scolding was trying to convert him into one of them, something he outright refused. Yet with Amaterasu, he knew that it wouldn't be like their idiotic scolding. Chances are it would be questioning why he invited her to lunch when he had nothing to give. It wasn't that he had planned for this though even if most of his plan was normally thought out. This one was...impulsive? Yes that was the word for it as the words had pretty much escaped before he could try to predict what he reactions would had been. It was a mistake...a weakness and he wasn't very fond of it. He should had thought this more. Mentally he sighed, he had a feeling he was hanging around idiots far too much but in this school it really couldn't be helped. Sure there were some that were adequate but they were far and very few in between. Actually the only one he could think of was Amaterasu.

"Well then." she started cutting him off from his thoughts. The male turned towards his sister watching...waiting...anticipating on what she had to say. "I suppose talking's always an option, isn't it?" Talking? Well for many yes but for him, not so much. The warlock most of the time made sure that he doesn't have to talk, Not that he hated it, he just never found anyone he would talk to. The closest was mainly the Monkey because he couldn't stand her, Sin but most of it was telling him to stop being an idiot and then there was Loki but even that wasn't so much. Wait...no...there was one more person but she had been gone for years. There was no point in counting her. She really might as well be dead so he didn't have any associates that he could call friends. Distant acquaintances then yes he suppose but friends? Hardly. It wasn't that he hated bonds no, despite his outer appearance he was actually quite fascinated by such things but he would never experience them. Instead he would watch others gather and talk to each other or he would try to remember the past. Before he was taught to be better than the rest, that he was to be perfect, flawless. Of course in the back of his mind he knew it was impossible, he didn't believe in perfection but as long as he looked the part he supposed it didn't matter.

"What have you been up to?" Huh? The silver haired male stared at her truly unsure of what to say. It wasn't that his life was uneventful...or at least too uneventful anyway but rather he didn't like remembering the events. The many times he would be grouped with the Monkey, how many times Sin and Loki decides to take him out somewhere. No, they were things that were left forgotten, repressed, too bad his memory would never allow him to do such a thing. Even if it can't remember the Monkey's name but she was unimportant and so there was no need to. "My life has been alright." he replied. It was a rather cryptic answer as it gave her nothing. No information and he wasn't even sure if 'aright' was the word to describe his life style. Rather numbing was a better word for it but being stuck in a rut would do such things to you.

"What about you? How is mother?" he asked tilting his head. Tsukuyomi was never one to use shortening version to address his parents. Never, 'mom' or 'dad' he avoided that as he thought that it was disrespectful even if it was more convenient. Then again he also didn't like to give out nicknames in general. He had only given out one but that was because he couldn't remember her name so he doubt it would really count. He was going to open his mouth to ask her if she had any friends but then again the fact that she was here...alone...with books, he doubt he needed to ask such a question to know. It was a shame that she didn't have any friends but at least she was independent. That was always a good thing.

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when september ends

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[AMATERASU AIKIKO]

Mama who bore me

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Mama who gave me

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Resolutely, Ama's eyes continued to stare at the plain brown weathered cover of her book. Right now, this book in her lap was possibly one of the most interesting things on the planet. A lot more fascinating than the sky and her surroundings, and naturally more attention-grabbing than her brother on the other side of the tree. Amaterasu was good at acting disinterested, good at acting bored. Generally, she was pretty chilly and distant from anything that wasn't a book, so it really wasn't all that hard. If her brother had just been a novel that was falling apart, she would have known what to do, easily. But seeing as how she had little interaction with people apart from yelling at them and throwing stuff at them when they interrupted her studies, now she was a bit clueless. She wanted to know what to do, whether to give Tsukuyomi the cold shoulder or not. The girl kind of wanted to be sunny and happy, just like she had acted when they were children.....but now wasn't really an appropriate time for that, was it? She was a grown adult, for crap's sake! Time to start acting like it!

She waited for her brother's answer in reply to her question about his welfare, and frowned at the answer. What kind of reply was that? Was he trying to be mysterious on purpose? That little moron. Ama wanted straight answers, not puzzling ones! Then again, she should have known that he wouldn't have wanted to tell his sister anything about his life. He had probably just called her over here to torture her a bit, and laugh at her. He hadn't ever liked mind games to her knowledge, but he hd obviously changed drastically, if he was at the point of acting like a total bastard to his sister, who only wanted to talk. Well. Ama hadn't known she had had that much anger inside. That private little rant had been quite pissy-sounding.

Wonderful, now she was annoyed. Raising her head, her slightly irritated expression concealed her inner anger and blame. Amaterasu hadn't even known that she wanted to blame someone for what had happened between her parents and screwed up her and her siblings lives forever, Truth be told, all these feelings of hurt and fury and love were screwing with her head. Ama hated it when things screwed with her head. Heaving out a frustrated grunt, she slammed her head backwards against the truck, and taking a sort of vicious pleasure in the crack that it made, completely ignoring the following ache.

Staring up at the sky, Ama opened her mouth to speak. "She's alright." the girl answered, turning her brother's words back on him. "How's Father?" the formal word sounded funny on her tongue, but whatever. That was probably just the fact that she hadn't had to say anything relating to the paternal words for a long time. It hadn't been nice of him, to just abandon her for all those years and never even send her a card. She had missed her brothers, and her daddy, but they had never came to visit, not once, and the little girl that had been Ama had been sad because of that. Now, of course, she was older, and hadn't thought about those things in years. She hadn't expected to ever run in to one of her instant relatives ever again, but she had, and now he was acting completely cruel. "Tsuku," Ama groaned before she could stop herself. "Why are you being so cold?"

No way to handle things

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Who made me so sad

Words: 593
Notes: Your ability to post no matter what scares me, Vy.

[TSUKUYOMI AIKIKO]

[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][bg=silver] ☪cold, but I'm still here

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[bg=silver][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true] ☆tagged: Amaterasu☆ words: 1168☆ ☆ notes: no i don't you give me a lot to go with☆

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It seems that Amaterasu didn't make any comment on his rather cryptic reply. She didn't yell at Tsukuyomi for having such a reply or even try to press on. Instead though she might have done something a big worse. It seems that she wasn't good expressing herself or at least not with words. Instead she had looked a bit irritated and took her anger at the tree...and her head as well. He can hear a small crack but instead of giving a worried look he had merely tilted his head almost like a little kid staring at something new. It was a simple movement before his head lied on the tree but unlike he it was soft and left no damage to his head nor the tree. He didn't ask her if she was alright either, she was older now, he was sure that she could take care of herself. After all she is the eldest of the triplets and she had always been strong. As a young kid he would never bother to be concern for her as it was not necessary and that hasn't changed either for the better or worse.

Perhaps if it was a certain blond who had left him then he would had been worried. She was always a klutz that it's amazing how she is alive. Even though she was a princess...before her little escape anyway, she never held the grace of one. No, if anything she acted more like a pauper that he at one time had wondered if they picked her off from the streets. Whenever he was around her it was almost like babysitting a little kid but then again did did have a rather large age difference but even then that was hardly any excuse. He was sure that most people her age had already learned proper etiquette. She just seems to love causing trouble and rebelling against her parents. Not that he ever hated her for that even if it caused him some trouble at times. Rather he was...interested in her. Too bad she had left though and the one princess that stood out was gone. Such a shame, despite the trouble she caused she had at least been a little entertaining, something that Sin and Loki can learn from.

The warlock quickly moved on though and asked about her and her mother. Only she never answered the first one. The later though was cryptic. "She's alright." Just two words with the same message as his only he hid his with the polite tone and the usage of words. It was something that he was taught to so at least even if he isn't the perfect picture for nobility, he can at least look like one. The public always did wanted perfection even if it is nothing more than a mere illusion. Still he nodded partially glad despite the cryptic answer. At least with a cryptic answer he can draw out something from that. Since she was stated to be alright it means that she was in good health and there was no need to worry about her. Yes, that was certainly good news to his ears. He hadn't seen her in so long but he has heard news of her from time to time but they were small and very few in between. People didn't bother talking about the women side of nobility much unless it was a princess or a queen.

"How's Father?" The female had asked him back. The warlock simply stared at the sky. "He is in good health but I don't see him too much." he answered. It was a lot better than the first answer he had given her he supposed. Tsukuyomi wasn't so sure since he really didn't see his father much. The man didn't write letters much but than again neither did he. He would hear him in some news or would see him on vacations where he would go back home but those were still rather rare. It only made sense seeing that there was a war going on though there wasn't exactly that much free time. People going into war and chances are dying. Sure their family would get money and they might grain some honor but that was nothing more than compensations. Oh well, lives can be easily replaced and people quickly move on anyway. Time heals wounds does it? At least that was the saying anything but the warlock couldn't be sure. It's been years since the divorce and some say that it still has an effect on him.

"Tsuku," Her voice had cut in through his thoughts and the male had silently thanked her in his mind despite the fact that his eyes still have a look of disinterest. He mere tilted his head in her direction as an indication that she had gotten his attention. Although he was surprised that the words -yomi did not come after it. Why did she stop at the first part of his name? Not to say that he was irked by it. No, it was rather warm but at the same time it brought back memories, memories far too happy that he didn't deserve, all it served was a reminder for what he can never gain again. Something he had destroyed with his own hands albeit indirect. "Why are you being so cold?"

Tsukuyomi blinked for a moment at her words. It wasn't that he was caught off guard by that statement. No, actually he was despite the fact that he has heard it many times. One can not describe him as someone warm and inviting. No, not with his look of disinterest, the way he phrases his words or how he would be honest and tell someone if he hates them. It was actually rather common for him even if he wasn't always this way. That wasn't to say that he was a talkative outgoing child either. He was still quiet but he would talk when spoken too and actually give out real information. Cold, yes that was a word that fitted him quite well, far too well actually. "I..." he stated but he did not know what to say. He didn't have a reason. He just became like this through time and he has no clue why. Maybe it was because of the people that annoy him or maybe because those he cared about slowly leave him whether it is by force or of their own choice. He really didn't know but hearing those words came out of someone he cared about...someone he wanted to associate it was...frightening.

It was a rare moment for the male to ever be speechless. Whenever he couldn't come up with a reply he would merely shrug and stay quiet. Otherwise he would always have something ready. In the end he could only settle on one thing, "I am sincerely sorry for being cold." Yes an apology as he could not give her a reason.

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blind, 'cause I'm so blind

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[AMATERASU AIKIKO]

Mama who bore me

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Mama who gave me

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Oh, he was sorry? Well, wasn't that just rich. If he was sorry, that must make everything better, right? Wrong. It just made the girl more pissed. Was he incapable of giving a straight answer? Couldn't he just reply to the damn question, for damnation's sake? It's not like it was a hard one, not at all! Perhaps he had been traumatized as a child! Perhaps he was extremely antisocial and didn't like dealing with the mundane annoyances of people. Perhaps he was just acting like that to annoy her. Amaterasu was leaning towards the last option right now. Even if it wasn't intentional, the male was still making her mad. No one had the right to talk to her after a long undefined period of time and act like that, especially not people who she was unfortunately related to by blood. At this moment, Ama was really wishing that she had been adopted, so that she could disclaim any ties to her brother and family. Unfortunately, though, she knew that this was highly impossible; she and her two brothers were triplets, after all.

Right now, all Amaterasu really wanted to do was go back to her library and bury herself in some new books. They didn't even have to be new, any would do. Anything to make her forget about this unpleasant chance meeting. While she was there, she'd have to remember to give the librarian a description of Tsukuyomi. He would keep him out of there, and thus diminish Ama's chances of having to deal with him again. The librarian was a regular ninja. If he couldn't do it, no one could. If she loved someone she loved that librarian, even though he was as annoying as hell. At least she could throw books at him when he became too irritating to bear. She certainly felt more affection for him than she felt for Tsuku, anyways.

In an effort to calm herself down a bit out of her current ire, the girl took in a few deep breaths, but not even breathing slowly was enough to diminish her angry state. She'd still keep breathing though. Even to try and shock her brother in to showing some sort of emotion, she wouldn't fall unconscious. That would just be stupid, and as she had mentioned earlier, Ama despised stupidity. She despised the stupid way she was acting right now too. She couldn't just keep up with her carefully blank face, not when too many other strong emotions were running through her head, so she gave up altogether. Clenching her fists, she stood up and treaded to right in front of where her brother was, before wheeling around. Her face, which had been only slightly less impassive than his at the time, was now alive with fury.

She wanted nothing more than to scream, but that wouldn't be dignified, and she was already clinging to a slim branch that might break any moment in that category as is. Instead, she confined herself to heated murmuring. "You.....bastard. What gives you the right to come here and play with me? What gives you the right to call me over after who knows how long, and toy with me?" Ama was unaware that her voice was rising with every word. She was too busy glaring in rage at the male. She wasn't really in a state to notice much at all, really, not even how the wind was getting cooler and breezier, or that the cloud covering the sun had just moved. No, all that mattered right now was letting Tsuku know how frustrated she was.

"You," she spat, jabbing a finger at him. "Have caused me so much pain over the years. You have no idea how much I've wondered where you are in the world! What you're doing! If you still care! I know the answer to that now, but dammit, can't you at least act like you feel something, you emotionless moron?!" Her tirade finished as suddenly as it had started. Well. That had been rather agressive. Still fuming, Ama turned around and crossed her arms, so her back was her brother. "This is a waste of my time." she said. Amaterasu hated wasting time, and unless she was given a valid reason that this wasn't exactly that, then she would walk away. It was useless to try and put her turbulent feelings in to words, in any case.

No way to handle things

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Who made me so sad

Words: 738
Notes: Told ya I'd mention the librarian! Man, I love that guy.

[TSUKUYOMI AIKIKO]

[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][bg=silver] ☪cold, but I'm still here

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[bg=silver][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true] ☆tagged: Amaterasu☆ words: 938☆ ☆ notes: well...that was sad.☆

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Tsukuyomi watched his sister who seems to have trouble breathing. From what he knew, she never had asthma in her life so he had to admit, he was a bit curious and...worried? He believed that was the word for it anyway. Worry, to be anxious about something or someone but it seems that Amaterasu seems to be rather fine though. She hasn't fainted yet even if it sort of look like she would. For now he would just have to watch her with caution then. Even though he was a younger one and the fact that their bond was no longer strong he still wanted to make sure that she was in good health. Of course, doing so without getting caught and most likely getting yelled at would be naturally hard. Still if he play his cards right he was pretty sure that he can do it, it was just that he was going to need to get someone to help him. Wait? Asking for assistance? He couldn't see himself doing that. He never asked for help, not even as a kid, it was an ability that he had obviously always lacked. It wasn't because he was arrogant but rather he never really needed help. He rarely ever fail at anything that would force him to ask for any sort of help. Over the years the male had learned to be rather independent as well and so the idea of asking for assistance was rather foreign.

As she grabbed the branch for support she stared facing him casting her shadow and blocking the sun from his view. The warlock merely stared back but his eyes were no where close to her, so full of emotion even if it was just anger and hurt as well. Hurt. He really didn't plan it to be this way, not that he expected their reunion to be something like in books where they could easily start from where they left off. No, he was far too much of a realist for such thoughts. He wasn't like the many people in this school who seems to believe that they could get along with whoever they want nor was he like Susanoo who seems to be able to make everything work out for him in the end even if he didn't plan it. At times he wondered how the youngest of the triplets have such an ability. He supposed he had lots of luck.

As the male stared into her eyes though he found everything he lacked in her. Then again that happened with just about everyone even the delinquent and conman that he has the displeasure of calling associates. "You.....bastard. What gives you the right to come here and play with me? What gives you the right to call me over after who knows how long, and toy with me?" Toy with her? Come here? But she was the one that came to him, he was just at the tree but even more was the fact that he didn't plan to toy with her. Yet as he yelled at him he merely stared back. There was no look of guilt or the urge to earn redemption in his golden orbs. No, he had merely stared back as if he was just watching a play going on, a play that had nothing to do with him. His eyes distant as usual merely blinked once at her words as if they were nothing. Tsukuyomi can hear her voice rising with every word as if there was no stop, as if the bottle holding her anger simply broke letting such emotions escape.

Although as much as the first part hurt, it was the second that had nearly broken him, only nearly though. To hear that she had at least thought about him even though she shouldn't. She was free of him after the divorce, they had no ties nor obligation to think of each other. Maybe it would had been better if he had just let her go and watch her from afar, to see that she is alright but never come up to her. Maybe if he was a child, before he was taught never to show emotions, never show weakness, he would had hugged her and never let her go, cry in her arms and beg her to stay with him while resting his head on her shoulder to block others from seeing his tears. Yet times like that was gone, slipped through his fingers just like sand. It was impossible to turn back time and so the memories had simply haunted him. All he could do was stare at her, his eyes staying the same.

Quickly she had turned his back on him. "This is a waste of my time." His hands had reached over in an attempt to get her to stay, to hold her back but before it could touch her he remembered what happened. The blood that was on his hands, his lust to kill when he learned Ai had abandoned him for a prince of the light, the divorce he caused and some of the people he had killed without batting an eye. As if those memories had created an invisible barrier his hands had dropped onto the grass. Slowly he had stood up. "I apologize for wasting your time." he spoke his hands clutched into fists but not in anger, it was in prevention of trying to grab her again. Without another word he had walked passed her, never looking at her in the eye in fear of hurting her or possibly giving himself false hope.

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[AMATERASU AIKIKO]

Mama who bore me

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Mama who gave me

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Calm. Cool. Collected. Cursedly blank. Ama wished she could act like that, but she had never been muh of a thespian. For her, she always had to show her emotions or act annoyed with the world. It was easy to do the latter; everyone could be so stupid sometimes. Combine that with her rather short temper, and you had a ready-made recipe for constant outbursts. Her brother didn't appear to have that short temper. He didn't appear to have many human emotional attributes at all, actually. While she had been yelling, Ama had been glaring right in to his eyes, hoping for him to show something, anything- any sign that he was still her brother. But she didn't get any, just a continuous blank look from his golden eyes. Like he wasn't affected by any part of her tirade. And of course he wasn't. Why should he care? Had he ever even before?

She had just wanted a reaction, something to show her that maybe there still was hope. But from the look of things, there wasn't. Inside, Ama was a mass of turbulent emotions, each clammering to get the march on each other. Anger had won out, briefly, against her better judgement, and, appeased, it had dissapeared. Guilt and worry had taken its place. Why had she said those things? She had just possibly damaged her only chance to reconnect with her brother again. Her last chance to get a family once more. Her brothers had been her comforts when she had been little, not her parents. Parets were supposed to love you and care for you, look after you. They were supposed to put their children first. But when they had divorced, they had only been thinking of themselves, the selfish bastards. Amaterasu doubted that their childrens' welfare had ever crossed their minds during the seperation. If they had been thinking about their kids, then they would never have split them up in the first place. If Ama had been able to still see her brothers, then she most certainly wouldn't be in this situation right now. Her parents choices had lead to this hurt, and Tsuku had intentionally or unintentionally started it. But now wasn't the time to play the blame game, not now. She had just let her anger run away from; she would not let it do so again.

Older siblings were supposed to protect their younger ones, even those who were only a few minutes younger than their siblings. Ama had not been able to do while they had been growing up in their seperate places. Now, she was more mature, more adult. She acted like an old soul. But if that was so, then how come she felt like a little child again right now? She wanted nothing more than to break down and run for her closest source of comfort, and if Amaterasu had been made of less mettle, she might have done just that. However, she was not, and her stubborness was perhaps the only thing that kept her from doing exactly that. Ama was proud- too proud- and pride would not let her do anything to humble herself. She was strong. She could make it through this without making a fool of herself. And afterwards, she could lock herself in a room stockpile with books and not leave for days, not even to eat. That thought sounded like a comfort right now.

Standing stiffly, she stared straight ahead, resolved on not even giving Tsukuyomi another glance. Her will crumbled quickly, however, as soon as he walked by. Her dark eyes instantly jumped to his face as she watched him pass by. Still no sign of any feeling. Her hand automatically twitched and seemed to raise itself, as if it meant to catch his sleeve, to hold him back, before she caught herself. She would not humble herself to such a low. "What, so you're just going to leave me again?" Ama demanded, trying to sound imperious and aloof. It was hard to force the words out through her tightening throat, however. Maybe she was coming down with some kind of throat disease or something. It wasn't until she noticed something wet trickling down her cheek did she look to the sky. The sky was bright, it didn't look like it was raining, but what else could that wetness on her cheek be? Frowning a little, Ama raised her hand to her eye. Her fingertips came away wet. Impossible. She didn't cry. That was such a mundane thing to do. She hadn't cried in years! But she was now.

The fact that salt water was now tracking a path down her cheeks made Ama want to cry even harder. Instead, she merely dropped to the ground, drew her knees in close and wound her arms around them, and then bury her head in them. She would not let him see her cry. She wanted his last impression of her to be one of a strong, dignified girl, not one who wailed like a baby. Sure, she didn't look so tough sitting down like that, but so help her, she would not let Tsukuyomi see her crying. It was a good thing she was a silent crier. She gave no indication that she was crying, except for maybe a harshly repressed slight trembling of the shoulders.

No way to handle things

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Who made me so sad

Words: 894
Notes: I think we've got the most emo thread in the whole site XDDD

[TSUKUYOMI AIKIKO]

[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][bg=silver] ☪cold, but I'm still here

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[bg=silver][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true] ☆tagged: Amaterasu☆ words: 1004☆ ☆ notes: yeah it is but at least it's...cutish?☆

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Tsukuyomi had planned to leave. It would had been so simple to just walk away and never look back. He has done it so many times that it was actually part of his routine. Walk by the people he insulted, walk by the people that were lower than him, walk by everyone and simply live in his own little world. To be completely detached but that was impossible, reality would never allow him to do such thing. He had to take care of Susanoo, he had to deal with the annoyance of Sin and had to deal with the fact that a failure had everything that he lacked. Something always call back to him and he would never know what. Susanoo although he can be a bit childish was able to take care of himself, he didn't have to talk to Sin nor did he have to talk to the Monkey either. He could simply say no to whenever his teacher assigned them together or simply ignore her and do the work but claimed it to be theirs. It would had been so simple but yet he would never do such things and he could never figure out why.

Once again he found himself in the exact same situation as his foot stopped the moment he had heard her voice. "What, so you're just going to leave me again?" Again? The first time he didn't meant to. They were forced and he had no choice. He was a child, a weak and powerless child who barely knew any spells back then. He couldn't have taken her with them, he couldn't have held onto her and fight the guards who would have ripped her from his arms. There was nothing he could have done...at least that was what he had told himself. As back then when the guard slowly took her after she had packed up her stuff, he had merely stood there and watch rooted. It wasn't even by some spell cast him. He had no excuse, maybe if he had ran, maybe if he had grabbed her hand and yank her away holding her tightly and never letting her go, maybe then he would had a chance to keep her but he had simply stood there. He didn't even cry that day due to shock, it wasn't until the next day when he had walked into her old room to tell her to come down to dinner, when he had saw that the room was empty, did he finally felt something wet slide down his cheeks. Then did he break down and started crying as reality hit him and he had hated it.

As the male stood there, he didn't bother to look back or maybe he was afraid to. Why did she care? He had wasted her time didn't he? He had watched her leave and did nothing about it. He had caused their parents to divorce or at least had sped it up. So why? Why won't she hate him already! Slowly though he had turned his head around still keeping his composure only to see her on the ground holding her legs together. He stood there and stared at her body that shivered despite the fact that it wasn't cold outside. It was obvious in his eyes that she was crying but why? Was it out of sadness or frustration? Why didn't she run away? Why won't she just leave and forget about him? The male slowly walked back his footsteps silent as if he was some kind of a ghost as he sat down. He can feel the grass tickling his skin and the wind playing with his hair. It truly was a nice day out and it wasn't raining alright but he knew that her face was wet.

The warlock reached his hand out but he wasn't sure what to do? Was he suppose to hug her? Was he suppose to just leave her there? The idea of touching her and tainting her though...yet it was the only way to comfort her wasn't it? To know that there was somebody watching. Yet he was sure that knowing her anger, she didn't want him to see her cry. He decided to enter the middle ground and walked around and sat down so that they were back to back. He slowly leaned on her, his body jolting a small bit at the touch. He wasn't fond of physical contact, no he had feared it actually. He feared getting close and tainting them, he feared that he would bring them bad luck bust most of all, he feared of them leaving him to find their own happiness. He still didn't cry, his eyes still apathetic he had merely sat there and was able to feel her body shaking from the tears that were leaking out.

"Please don't cry." he silently whispered. He wasn't even sure if she had heard it as it was so small. It was so funny right now that he thought about it. Tsukuyomi the prodigy, the apathetic genius, the image of nobility was in such a weak position. The one who can easily learn spells, act on his best behavior right now had felt so weak. Yet for a moment he had asked her, "why didn't you forget about me?" It wasn't that he had wanted her to. He was happy and grateful that she had chose to think about him, to worry about his condition but if it hurt her wouldn't it be easier to forget about him? It shouldn't be hard, burn all the painting, throw away his present for her and maybe even cast a spell. The male had done it himself with his fiance who was now dead but even then he had became a little resistant as a part of him wanted him to remember what he had done. Still with Amaterasu who hated hims o much, it would had been easy right? That way she won't be hurt anymore.

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blind, 'cause I'm so blind

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[AMATERASU AIKIKO]

Mama who bore me

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Mama who gave me

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How weak of her, to break down in front of someone who looked like he didn't even know the meaning of the word "sadness". At least she had had the forethought to hide her face. She would not let him see her crying. Never, never, never. Ama was strong. She could hide herself away for a while after this, to attempt to forget this humiliation that she was now suffering at by her own hands. How could she possibly have let her tears begin in this public place? Tears were private, useless things, and if there was a need for crying, then it should be done inside a house, locked in a room. Amaterasu gulped in deep, hurried breaths, trying to stop her crying, but now that the waterworks had begun, they didn't seem able to stop.

Scrunching her eyes up didn't do anything either, except maybe squeeze out some of the more elusive drops of water. It might be just best to sit here until she was cried dry, and then wipe her face and hope her eyes weren't too red. She didn't want anyone staring at her oddly on her way home. People around here who knew Amaterasu knew her as the quiet aloof loner, one who preferred to keep to her books. She didn't want that opinion to change. Besides, most of the people around here were terrible gossips. They'd no doubt start some ridiculous rumour, probably having something to do with a handsome unattainable man who had broken her heart. All Ama knew was that if that did happen, she'd sooner break the heads of the unimaginative idiots who made it up.

Digging her nails in to her hands in an effort to stop herself from shaking more, she took in another deep breath, and finally managed to stop her sobbing, somewhat. As soon as she heard her brother walking away, then she'd get up, retrieve her book, and take a quiet route back to her home. She had been planning on making a trip to the library later today, but she couldn' exactly do that with dignity anymore, could she? Not while she was in this....condition. Amaterasu sat still, waiting for the inevitable sounds of fading footsteps. To her shock, she heard a pair of approaching ones. Was there someone else around here? Ama really, really hoped not. She might have to kill herself to save herself from that shame.

At least she managed to quell the tiny jolt her body did when she felt someone's back touch hers. Okay, there was most definitely a random stranger in the area trying to comfort her, or take advantage of her weakened state of mind. Tsukuyomi would've walked away by now, probably without a second glance. On any other day, Amaterasu would have whipped around and clubbed such a disrespectful person with either her book or some magic, but she decided that today, all things considered, it would probably be best to sit and wait for them to leave, as they would no doubt eventually do after they got bored of her silence.

When Ama heard Tsuku's faint voice, she thought she was just hearing things for a moment. He would have left by now, and be gone, gone, gone fom his troublesome sister. But no. It was definitely his voice. Ama almost relaxed, now knowing that the person sitting behind her was not some stranger. Bu of course, she couldn't do that. She didn't trust him enough to relax around him. Instead, she briefly ducked her head up and dashed her hand underneath it to rub away the tears. "I'm not crying," she replied stubbornly, voice slightly stuffy. "There's....something in my, is all." okay, so it was a lame excuse that had probably been used by everyone who wanted to conceal the fact they had been crying, but it was a classic, and she didn't have a better one at the moment.

As for forgetting about her sibling? She had tried. She had tried very hard, after the first few years alone with nobody but her stern mother had gone by, after she had finally been forced to face the fact she wasn't going to see her brothers or daddy again. Nonetheless, she had still given them thought every once in a while, in a wistful way. As she had gotten older, she had thought about her family less and less, until it was only rarely that she wondered about them. These past few years, she hadn't given anything, even herself, much thought. She had been too busy learning new things and wonders. She had become more realistic; the world was big. The odds were that she'd never see them again. But she had. And now her brother was sitting with her. "You try forgetting about someone you loved," Ama muttered, somewhat rebelliously. "See how well that goes. No doubt, you've done a fantastic job of forgetting about me."

No way to handle things

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Who made me so sad

Words: 824
Notes: Oh, it's adorable all right, in a rather angsty way